Then as it was
Then again it will be…
I met him twenty years ago. I spent a decade getting to know him, musically and personally. Ten years ago today, those of us who loved him were forced to say goodbye. Jesus, I can’t even believe it…he’s been gone for as long as I knew him.
I’ve spent the last decade missing him, and not a single day has passed that I haven’t thought of him, or felt his influence. He’s there, in the music I listen to, in the music I write and record, in the choices I make onstage, he’s always hovering. “What would Carter do?” That’s a thing. I actually ask myself that…a lot. I just wish I listened to that voice more often. I feel like, most times, he’d shake his head and say, “Why the hell did you play it like that?”
Changes fill my time
Baby that’s alright with me
In the midst I think of you
And how it used to be
I remember the last time I saw him. We were recording (what, unbeknownst to us, was) the final Sorta album at Tomcast. We sat on the couches between takes, chatting and playing guitars. He showed me the unusual open tuning for his song “Country Living”, which he had just recorded for his upcoming album. I was completely obsessed with the song. He showed me the tuning and the chords, and how to do the voicings just right. (It later dawned on me that I was the only person who ever had that lucky privilege - to learn it the right way, from the man himself.) We ate ice cream sundaes and wrapped the session. We said goodnight and I said I’d catch up with everyone the next week, after I got back from my beach vacation. Little did I know that was the last time I’d see him. Three days later he was gone.
I wrote this song, “Always In Awe”, the day he died. It’s in the same tuning as “Country Living”, the chords and melody are directly inspired by it…it’s a tribute to him, but also a musical homage. I love all the little Sorta references that made their way into the recording (that came out a couple years later)…I’d forgotten about all of that. The song is about heartbreak and loss, but the recording adds another layer - it becomes a sweet love letter to the little band we shared together, for a short time. And it’s completely honest. I was truly in awe of him, really from the day we met. He was my musical hero, I looked up to him, in every way, even when we shared the same stages together. Even when he would defer to me, and humbly say that I was better than him. Oh, whatever…I never believed him for a second…I mean, I think he meant what he said, always…but I just knew in my heart that whatever raw talent I might have had, it could never touch what he had - which was true musical genius. And on top of that, he was just so fucking cool. He was one of a kind. He should have been world famous.
Ten years gone, holdin’ on.
And I’m still missing you, Carter Albrecht.
Always.
CH 9-3-17